[The thing is, Tim's full of shit, too, calling Jason out like this when he can't even be straight with Jason himself. He's scared of fucking this up, much more scared than he's ever been of any physical damage Jason might cause. Broken bones can be mended, stab wounds and bullet holes can be stitched and left to scar and heal over time, but feelings? Those are so much more fragile, and while Tim's sure his body can recover from whatever physical punishment he's dealt, his ability to heal from an emotional rejection is much less certain.
But that rejection he fears doesn't seem to be coming - unless Jason's setting him up for a long, cruel downward tumble, and Jason may've done shitty things in the past, but Tim refuses to believe that's what he's about to do now. Not with Jason's hands wrapped so delicately around his face, not with Jason leaning in so close Tim can feel every breath he takes breezing across his own mouth. Of course Jason wants to hear Tim say it - how big of an idiot is Tim, really, to need this spelled out. Tim inhales a shaking breath, bracing to lay himself completely bare in Jason's hands.]
What do you - what do you want to hear from me, Jason? That I -
[He's so close; it's like staring at the sun, too intense for more than a moment. Tim's eyes close, and he sighs out a soft sound, not quite a laugh.]
Do you want to hear that I thought you were this incredible, beautiful creature the moment I first saw you? That watching you move is like seeing a force of nature at work? That I envy you for your strength, and your power, and that sometimes, you're the only thing I can think about? Do you want to hear about how I thought you were special, even before you did the impossible? That I still do?
[The hand curled in Jason's jacket relaxes, shifts up his chest, stops at his heart with two fingers gently pressed to his shirt.]
Why else do you think you're the one I texted when I couldn't sleep? I wanted to see you, I wanted to be with you, I -
[I wanted you, but that still feels like too much to say. Tim inhales a sharp breath and slowly exhales, slipping his hand up to rest along the side of Jason's neck, thumb lightly tracing the line of his jaw.]
This - this is what you wanted me to spill, right? Is that enough, Jason? Do I need to keep talking, or can you just - can't you - ?
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But that rejection he fears doesn't seem to be coming - unless Jason's setting him up for a long, cruel downward tumble, and Jason may've done shitty things in the past, but Tim refuses to believe that's what he's about to do now. Not with Jason's hands wrapped so delicately around his face, not with Jason leaning in so close Tim can feel every breath he takes breezing across his own mouth. Of course Jason wants to hear Tim say it - how big of an idiot is Tim, really, to need this spelled out. Tim inhales a shaking breath, bracing to lay himself completely bare in Jason's hands.]
What do you - what do you want to hear from me, Jason? That I -
[He's so close; it's like staring at the sun, too intense for more than a moment. Tim's eyes close, and he sighs out a soft sound, not quite a laugh.]
Do you want to hear that I thought you were this incredible, beautiful creature the moment I first saw you? That watching you move is like seeing a force of nature at work? That I envy you for your strength, and your power, and that sometimes, you're the only thing I can think about? Do you want to hear about how I thought you were special, even before you did the impossible? That I still do?
[The hand curled in Jason's jacket relaxes, shifts up his chest, stops at his heart with two fingers gently pressed to his shirt.]
Why else do you think you're the one I texted when I couldn't sleep? I wanted to see you, I wanted to be with you, I -
[I wanted you, but that still feels like too much to say. Tim inhales a sharp breath and slowly exhales, slipping his hand up to rest along the side of Jason's neck, thumb lightly tracing the line of his jaw.]
This - this is what you wanted me to spill, right? Is that enough, Jason? Do I need to keep talking, or can you just - can't you - ?