[ Jason's eyes tracked Tim, the way he always does when he's waiting for an attack or over thinking. It could be either in the moment. The blue eyes finally lock on Tim's own shades of blue. Listening and yet he rolled his eyes when asked if he'd looked in the mirror. ]
I'm a mess.
[ That was the only response he gave to that. A shiver rolled through him when the Tim's hand slid up his neck. Normally not one to let people so close and yet, he couldn't say no.
He was silent still listening, feeling like his heart was going to beat through his chest. Refusing to let fear ever rule him again he dipped his head down crushing his lips against Tim's. Unable to think of words but still not intending to let much happen.]
[They're both disasters, to some degree. Maybe that's part of the attraction, like and like, a similarity that can only be matched by a select few, and Jason's at the top of Tim's list. Tim doesn't mind the messiness one bit.
When Jason's mouth meets his, Tim makes a quiet noise in the back of his throat, part surprised, part pleased, part finally. His jaw relaxes, inviting Jason in to deepen the kiss. Tim would make that kiss last forever, if he could, but he has to breathe, so he does, breaking the contact, inhaling quick and deep at Jason's mouth.]
[ Bruce should have gotten those boys some therapy but, they now put the hot in hot mess. And despite many flaws they get their jobs done and usually make it home.
Jason worried he always worried when he wanted something that was how he even ended up in his current situation. Minus one partner add lot of 'parts' money. But, this he couldn't fight. He just took a breath a s shook his head.]
Not bad at all... Who have you been practicing on?
[ the last bit teasing as he finally snatched the ice cream and moved to sit on the bed.]
So, can we wait till morning now? It would make me feel a lot better.
[It's a good compliment. Tim grins softly, and lets Jason go with a measure of reluctance.]
You're not, like - taking advantage of me Jason. I promise. I really do want this.
[He hesitates for a moment, then plucks a spoon from one of the trays and follows Jason over to the bed, folding his legs underneath him as he sits next to Jason.]
But I guess if it'll make you feel better ... OK. We can talk about it in the morning. As long as you're still here in the morning.
[That's Tim's fear, that Jason's going to get weird about this and vanish in the middle of the night, and nothing will ever be the same between them. He digs a spoonful of ice cream out and places it inside his mouth, sucking the spoon clean while the ice cream melts on his tongue.]
You are still gonna be here when I wake up, right?
[ He spoke, and oddly seemed more open to sharing the pint of ice cream, shifting so Tim could get some to as he thought over the last few minutes and nodded as Tim reassured him.]
You better not change your mind in the morning or I swear you will be in ICU.
[ He spoke as he ate a spoon full of the ice cream. It was just strawberry but it was good. ]
I told you I was staying and I mean it. Someone has to keep an eye on your drunk ass.
I'm not going anywhere, Jason. And I'm not going to change my mind. That's what I mean - I'm sure that I want this. You, I mean. Really sure.
[Tim just has lingering doubts about just how reciprocal the feeling is. ICU threat aside, it sort of feels to Tim like Jason's humoring him, holding him off until tomorrow, when he can turn him down while they're both sober.
But there's nothing to be done about tomorrow until after sleep. Tim digs another bite of ice cream out and sets it in his mouth to melt. Strawberry ice cream is a good choice - the flavor is sweet, but not heavy and overpowering - but it's not doing much to settle his stomach, so he slips off the bed and heads back to the rest of the trays on the table to poke around, lifting the lids to inspect what's underneath.]
Neither am I. I'll give you the answers and my thoughts in the morning.
[ There went a peaceful sleep in a hotel bed. Not that he ever slept peaceful in bed with someone else. Not when he wasn't just tired to the bone. He figured he'd be fine with Tim. Another Robin understood, his replacement seemed to always understand even when he was being a grade A douchebag to him.
Jason stayed quiet as Tim spoke, listening and weighting like a verdict being read off. His eyes staying on the ice cream for now as he took a couple more bites. Looking up finally once Tim moved to the tray. Inside was a mix mash of items. A burger and fries, a couple slices of pizza, a small salad, and some bread sticks. He finally lifted himself from the bed moving over as he worked on the ice cream.]
The basic's of a drunken night out. Stick to the greasy stuff, trust me.
[Tim reaches for lightness, tossing a glance at Jason over his shoulder. It feels like the attempt falls flat, though, so Tim shrugs out of his jacket, hangs it on the back of the chair at the table, and grabs one of the trays of food to bring back to the bed. It's the one with the pizza, and he shoves half a slice in his mouth once he settles back down on the mattress next to Jason. If his mouth is busy chewing, at least he won't be able to keep talking.]
[ Jason halfheartedly teased, as he finished off the ice cream and got up moving to grab the burger and fries moving back to sit beside Tim on the bed again. As he ate he looked to Tim before knocking their shoulders together playfully. Just a quiet way to showing he's not mad. He hadn't always been good to tim and he worried the other might worry he'd return to that if he thought he planned to reject him.]
[At least things aren't too weird? (Yet - Tim still half-expects this to turn out disastrously.) Tim gives Jason a one-shouldered shrug, chewing thoughtfully. If they're not going to talk about this, Tim's not sure what else can be done.]
[ Eating took up a little time, before Jason got up and cleaned his hands, undressing to his boxers, having flat out admitted it's how he sleeps and Tim could deal. Though the fact he had somehow had a gun hidden on him without wearing his holsters was pretty impressive in that tight shirt. It was left on the table closest to the bed once he laid down.
Jason didn't sleep as well as he would have liked, shifting to sit up each time Tim made a noise, or shifted onto his back, if he did shift on his back Jason would carefully roll him back on his stomach. When the sun shone through the curtains, Jason had barley registered it until his phone started buzzing. Reaching over haphazardly until he found it cracking an eye open he saw Bruce's name and chucked it across the room. ]
[Tim falls asleep in his clothes half the time anyway, so he doesn't bother removing more than his socks and his wallet, keys, and phone from his pockets before settling in on the bed next to Jason. He doesn't sleep well - Tim rarely does - but he's not sick again tonight, at least. He's anxious, but tired; the beer, the food, and the emotional rollercoaster of the past several hours are all contributing factors to the exhaustion that finally overtakes him for a night of sleep in fits and starts that never last long enough.
He wishes, briefly, silently, while dozing off, that instead of being pushed onto his stomach, he could turn on his side and curl in on Jason, throw an arm around his waist, kiss him just one more time tonight. Thoughts he immediately chides himself for, but the desire for touch is still there, hovering in his mind when he wakes, as soon as Jason's phone begins to buzz. Tim shifts, turns his head in Jason's direction, opens his eyes halfway, mumbles against the pillow:]
[ Jason never slept the best either, between night terrors of from the pit, and just general issues and being a night owl the best he got was a few hours any night. Surviving on naps more than not. Falling back into the role of protector for someone under the influence didn't help, but he was the one who got Tim drunk. He made that choice.
He shifted on his side when Tim spoke, yawning and stretching some.]
Dunno, Timbers, threw the damn phone. Too fuckin' early o'clock.
[ He settled after a stretch staying on his side, and as if reading Tim's mind he draped one of his arms around the smaller bird.]
[Tim doesn't sound too concerned about it, though; if Jason doesn't care, why should he? Tim closes his eyes again, sighs a quiet breath against the pillow.]
Mm, like I've been disassembled and put back together by a team of trained monkeys, except their training was for something else entirely.
[His head's throbbing, and the inside of his mouth feels like someone's stapled cotton batting all over it. But Jason's arm around him feels comforting - safe. Tim immediately moves in that fraction closer toward him, turns more onto his side so he can snake an arm around Jason's waist and tuck his face against Jason's chest.]
I think I can now say with an informed opinion that I do not like beer.
And Bruce will get pissed when he can't get a hold of me and buy me another one. I get a few blissfully silent days.
[ He didn't really hate talking to Bruce that much, but he had an image to maintain. It was to early to deal with Bruce's bullshit.
Jason couldn't help a chuckle at the description. It sounded about right for how much Tim drank, as a light weight anyway. Without giving it much thought his hand moves up from around Tim, playing with his hair as Tim snuggles in more. He'd never admit it aloud but it was nice to hold someone.]
Nah, you just have to find the one you like. So, you want to sleep more or do this talking? If you want feelings I'm going to need a pot of coffee.
[It feels nice to hold, and even nicer to be held. Fingers in his hair draw a wordless murmur of approval against Jason's skin. Tim wants to talk this out and find some resolution as Jason promised last night that they would, yes, but the idea of moving, of tearing himself away from Jason's warmth, is much less appealing. Tim inhales a long breath and slowly exhales, tilting his head to gently press his lips to Jason's chest.]
Do we have to get up to talk? Can't we just - talk like this?
[ Jason was enjoying the warmth of holding someone close, it wasn't a luxury he got a lot. Less inclined to open his heart after Isabel, after the odd pain of breaking up his old partnership. Even if that was no where near the same as what Tim was offering. The kiss to his chest gets a tired smile.]
No, but if I fall asleep again you can't get mad at me. It's to early for bats like us to be awake.
[ He moved his hand long enough to push his hair from his face, then returned it to Tim's hair.]
You realize I'm not the nicest guy, I'm kind of a prick Timbers, I've hurt you in the past. Are you sure?
[Tim isn't always forgiving, and not always immediately, but with Jason? What's between them is complicated, and it always has been. What Jason points out is true; he isn't always nice, he has hurt Tim in the past, and he's done a lot of things for which some people might not forgive him.
But Tim has; he's extended a measure of trust to Jason and expected him to keep it, rather than attempting to make him jump through hoops to earn it. Tim blinks his eyes open, pulls himself away from Jason just enough to sit up and look him straight in the eyes.]
Do you really think I don't know that? Or - or that I've forgotten everything that's happened? I haven't.
[Tim slides a hand to the side of Jason's neck, tracing his thumb along the line of his jaw. He's fully aware of what he's asking for, the risks he's taking, and he's placing his bet on Jason anyway. Tim leans down, places an unhesitating kiss at Jason's mouth.]
[ Something inside of him shifts hearing the words he doesn't expect from anyone. Much less Tim Drake. Tim had more reason to hate him than anyone shy of Bruce. Yet, here he was openly giving forgiveness accepting what Jason has done and said.
When Tim shifted Jason moved one of his arms to prop his head some. Looking more relaxed in all ways aside from his worried face. His eyes showed the uncertainty. NO one just forgives the stuff hes done, the way he acted and yet here it was being given. The street kid inside screamed take it and run, while the warrior demanded he stand his ground.
There was no time for words or questions as Tim's fingers tracked his neck and jaw, the mornings stubble coming through in just the right way that made him look even better, even if he rarely dared keep it in Gotham. Jason didn't answer in words instead he answered in action, as it was who he was, a man of action. The hand that had been in Tim's hair moved back but to the back of his neck kissing him back and deepening the kiss in the same motion. Opening himself to a dangerous new possibility, and after all, didn't he always love danger? ]
[Tim takes every fraction of space Jason gives him, moves in closer, sinks into the deepening kiss. He's not drunk anymore, not dulled by the alcohol, and touching Jason feels like coming into contact with a live wire. Tim leans into Jason, chest to chest, props his elbow on the pillow above Jason's head to brace his weight and hums, pleased. He's out of breath by the time the kiss ends, breathing hard against Jason's mouth.]
Do you believe me now, Jay? [Another kiss, quick, placed at the corner of his mouth, and another, underneath his ear.]
[ Jason can't even try to fight how nice it feels to have someone taking his space, being up and close to his body. He loves it. The feeling of being truely wanted was something he never got enough of. The taste of Tim's lips against his own was exhilarating all on its own.
His hand stays firm on Tim's neck once the kiss broke and a shakey breath was released as Tim kissed the corner of his lips then close to his ear. His neck was a weak spot for him, so close to the spot where Bruce's Batarang for him when he tried to kill the joker.
It took all of his will to keep his voice steady as his body was already reacting. He was never a morning person... for anything but affection.]
[Tim grins against Jason's neck, slides his hand out of Jason's hair to trace the tips of his fingers along Jason's collarbone. Being allowed this close, permitted just to touch, is a thrill that sets his heart racing.]
What else do I need to do to prove it to you, hmm?
[ The ball was back in his court and he knew he had to lay down the foundation. This was his time. His heart speeding up as the light touches, the secret promises in those fingers. ]
Promise. Give me a oath that you wont change your mind, that you truly want this. And tell me what you expect from me.
[He's still doubting. Is that Jason's tendency to distrust talking, or is Tim just not convincing enough? Tim sobers a little, mouth pursed in concentration. He props his head up in his hand, leaning on his elbow against the pillow next to Jason so he can look him straight in the eye when he says his next words.]
Jason ... I've wanted you since before I really understood what that meant. I promise - I want you. I'm not going to change my mind.
[The rest of what Jason asks ... that's something about which Tim is much less certain. His eyes fall to his finger, tracing a slow line back across Jason's collar bone, sliding a few inches down to rest over his heart, beating and alive.]
I don't - I don't expect anything from you, I guess - I didn't think this would ever happen, so I didn't let myself imagine that far ahead. [His eyes flick up to Jason's again.] What do you expect from me?
[ It was completely Jason's tendancy to distrust. Tim was more than convincing he was to good to be true. Jason rarely got to keep things that good, and he wasn't in the market for more pain... well not his own pain anyway.
Tim always was smart, he knew exactly how to get the other set of blue eyes peering right into his. Soaking in every word. Every syllable.
There was a nod before Tim was gifted one of those oh so rare brilliant smiles he used to always wear in his Robin days, at least publicly.]
Oh Tim, I don't expect anything, I want you to understand what your signing up for though. I'm moody at best, always on the run. I can't stand to be boxed in, and there's days I am just a terror for no reason besides well.. ya know.
[ There was always going to be issues. PTSD, and Pit madness were a thing, and he worried that Tim would have issues with it when logically he knew better.]
Don't worry about imagining, come here. [ He moved his calloused fingers over to trail down Tim's cheek as he leaned in to steal his lips this time.]
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I'm a mess.
[ That was the only response he gave to that. A shiver rolled through him when the Tim's hand slid up his neck. Normally not one to let people so close and yet, he couldn't say no.
He was silent still listening, feeling like his heart was going to beat through his chest. Refusing to let fear ever rule him again he dipped his head down crushing his lips against Tim's. Unable to think of words but still not intending to let much happen.]
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When Jason's mouth meets his, Tim makes a quiet noise in the back of his throat, part surprised, part pleased, part finally. His jaw relaxes, inviting Jason in to deepen the kiss. Tim would make that kiss last forever, if he could, but he has to breathe, so he does, breaking the contact, inhaling quick and deep at Jason's mouth.]
Was that - was it really so bad, Jay?
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Jason worried he always worried when he wanted something that was how he even ended up in his current situation. Minus one partner add lot of 'parts' money. But, this he couldn't fight. He just took a breath a s shook his head.]
Not bad at all... Who have you been practicing on?
[ the last bit teasing as he finally snatched the ice cream and moved to sit on the bed.]
So, can we wait till morning now? It would make me feel a lot better.
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[It's a good compliment. Tim grins softly, and lets Jason go with a measure of reluctance.]
You're not, like - taking advantage of me Jason. I promise. I really do want this.
[He hesitates for a moment, then plucks a spoon from one of the trays and follows Jason over to the bed, folding his legs underneath him as he sits next to Jason.]
But I guess if it'll make you feel better ... OK. We can talk about it in the morning. As long as you're still here in the morning.
[That's Tim's fear, that Jason's going to get weird about this and vanish in the middle of the night, and nothing will ever be the same between them. He digs a spoonful of ice cream out and places it inside his mouth, sucking the spoon clean while the ice cream melts on his tongue.]
You are still gonna be here when I wake up, right?
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[ He spoke, and oddly seemed more open to sharing the pint of ice cream, shifting so Tim could get some to as he thought over the last few minutes and nodded as Tim reassured him.]
You better not change your mind in the morning or I swear you will be in ICU.
[ He spoke as he ate a spoon full of the ice cream. It was just strawberry but it was good. ]
I told you I was staying and I mean it. Someone has to keep an eye on your drunk ass.
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[Tim just has lingering doubts about just how reciprocal the feeling is. ICU threat aside, it sort of feels to Tim like Jason's humoring him, holding him off until tomorrow, when he can turn him down while they're both sober.
But there's nothing to be done about tomorrow until after sleep. Tim digs another bite of ice cream out and sets it in his mouth to melt. Strawberry ice cream is a good choice - the flavor is sweet, but not heavy and overpowering - but it's not doing much to settle his stomach, so he slips off the bed and heads back to the rest of the trays on the table to poke around, lifting the lids to inspect what's underneath.]
What did you order, anyway?
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[ There went a peaceful sleep in a hotel bed. Not that he ever slept peaceful in bed with someone else. Not when he wasn't just tired to the bone. He figured he'd be fine with Tim. Another Robin understood, his replacement seemed to always understand even when he was being a grade A douchebag to him.
Jason stayed quiet as Tim spoke, listening and weighting like a verdict being read off. His eyes staying on the ice cream for now as he took a couple more bites. Looking up finally once Tim moved to the tray. Inside was a mix mash of items. A burger and fries, a couple slices of pizza, a small salad, and some bread sticks. He finally lifted himself from the bed moving over as he worked on the ice cream.]
The basic's of a drunken night out. Stick to the greasy stuff, trust me.
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[Tim reaches for lightness, tossing a glance at Jason over his shoulder. It feels like the attempt falls flat, though, so Tim shrugs out of his jacket, hangs it on the back of the chair at the table, and grabs one of the trays of food to bring back to the bed. It's the one with the pizza, and he shoves half a slice in his mouth once he settles back down on the mattress next to Jason. If his mouth is busy chewing, at least he won't be able to keep talking.]
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[ Jason halfheartedly teased, as he finished off the ice cream and got up moving to grab the burger and fries moving back to sit beside Tim on the bed again. As he ate he looked to Tim before knocking their shoulders together playfully. Just a quiet way to showing he's not mad. He hadn't always been good to tim and he worried the other might worry he'd return to that if he thought he planned to reject him.]
What do you want to do after we eat?
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Sleep, I guess. Unless you have a better idea?
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Jason didn't sleep as well as he would have liked, shifting to sit up each time Tim made a noise, or shifted onto his back, if he did shift on his back Jason would carefully roll him back on his stomach. When the sun shone through the curtains, Jason had barley registered it until his phone started buzzing. Reaching over haphazardly until he found it cracking an eye open he saw Bruce's name and chucked it across the room. ]
Fuckin' Old man callin' to damn early.
[ He grumbled before looking Tim's way.]
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He wishes, briefly, silently, while dozing off, that instead of being pushed onto his stomach, he could turn on his side and curl in on Jason, throw an arm around his waist, kiss him just one more time tonight. Thoughts he immediately chides himself for, but the desire for touch is still there, hovering in his mind when he wakes, as soon as Jason's phone begins to buzz. Tim shifts, turns his head in Jason's direction, opens his eyes halfway, mumbles against the pillow:]
What time is it?
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He shifted on his side when Tim spoke, yawning and stretching some.]
Dunno, Timbers, threw the damn phone. Too fuckin' early o'clock.
[ He settled after a stretch staying on his side, and as if reading Tim's mind he draped one of his arms around the smaller bird.]
How you feeling?
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[Tim doesn't sound too concerned about it, though; if Jason doesn't care, why should he? Tim closes his eyes again, sighs a quiet breath against the pillow.]
Mm, like I've been disassembled and put back together by a team of trained monkeys, except their training was for something else entirely.
[His head's throbbing, and the inside of his mouth feels like someone's stapled cotton batting all over it. But Jason's arm around him feels comforting - safe. Tim immediately moves in that fraction closer toward him, turns more onto his side so he can snake an arm around Jason's waist and tuck his face against Jason's chest.]
I think I can now say with an informed opinion that I do not like beer.
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[ He didn't really hate talking to Bruce that much, but he had an image to maintain. It was to early to deal with Bruce's bullshit.
Jason couldn't help a chuckle at the description. It sounded about right for how much Tim drank, as a light weight anyway. Without giving it much thought his hand moves up from around Tim, playing with his hair as Tim snuggles in more. He'd never admit it aloud but it was nice to hold someone.]
Nah, you just have to find the one you like. So, you want to sleep more or do this talking? If you want feelings I'm going to need a pot of coffee.
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[It feels nice to hold, and even nicer to be held. Fingers in his hair draw a wordless murmur of approval against Jason's skin. Tim wants to talk this out and find some resolution as Jason promised last night that they would, yes, but the idea of moving, of tearing himself away from Jason's warmth, is much less appealing. Tim inhales a long breath and slowly exhales, tilting his head to gently press his lips to Jason's chest.]
Do we have to get up to talk? Can't we just - talk like this?
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No, but if I fall asleep again you can't get mad at me. It's to early for bats like us to be awake.
[ He moved his hand long enough to push his hair from his face, then returned it to Tim's hair.]
You realize I'm not the nicest guy, I'm kind of a prick Timbers, I've hurt you in the past. Are you sure?
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[Tim isn't always forgiving, and not always immediately, but with Jason? What's between them is complicated, and it always has been. What Jason points out is true; he isn't always nice, he has hurt Tim in the past, and he's done a lot of things for which some people might not forgive him.
But Tim has; he's extended a measure of trust to Jason and expected him to keep it, rather than attempting to make him jump through hoops to earn it. Tim blinks his eyes open, pulls himself away from Jason just enough to sit up and look him straight in the eyes.]
Do you really think I don't know that? Or - or that I've forgotten everything that's happened? I haven't.
[Tim slides a hand to the side of Jason's neck, tracing his thumb along the line of his jaw. He's fully aware of what he's asking for, the risks he's taking, and he's placing his bet on Jason anyway. Tim leans down, places an unhesitating kiss at Jason's mouth.]
I'm sure, Jason. Really.
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When Tim shifted Jason moved one of his arms to prop his head some. Looking more relaxed in all ways aside from his worried face. His eyes showed the uncertainty. NO one just forgives the stuff hes done, the way he acted and yet here it was being given. The street kid inside screamed take it and run, while the warrior demanded he stand his ground.
There was no time for words or questions as Tim's fingers tracked his neck and jaw, the mornings stubble coming through in just the right way that made him look even better, even if he rarely dared keep it in Gotham. Jason didn't answer in words instead he answered in action, as it was who he was, a man of action. The hand that had been in Tim's hair moved back but to the back of his neck kissing him back and deepening the kiss in the same motion. Opening himself to a dangerous new possibility, and after all, didn't he always love danger? ]
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Do you believe me now, Jay? [Another kiss, quick, placed at the corner of his mouth, and another, underneath his ear.]
switching to pb account for this <3
His hand stays firm on Tim's neck once the kiss broke and a shakey breath was released as Tim kissed the corner of his lips then close to his ear. His neck was a weak spot for him, so close to the spot where Bruce's Batarang for him when he tried to kill the joker.
It took all of his will to keep his voice steady as his body was already reacting. He was never a morning person... for anything but affection.]
Mmm, might be starting to be convinced, Timbo.
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What else do I need to do to prove it to you, hmm?
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Promise. Give me a oath that you wont change your mind, that you truly want this. And tell me what you expect from me.
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Jason ... I've wanted you since before I really understood what that meant. I promise - I want you. I'm not going to change my mind.
[The rest of what Jason asks ... that's something about which Tim is much less certain. His eyes fall to his finger, tracing a slow line back across Jason's collar bone, sliding a few inches down to rest over his heart, beating and alive.]
I don't - I don't expect anything from you, I guess - I didn't think this would ever happen, so I didn't let myself imagine that far ahead. [His eyes flick up to Jason's again.] What do you expect from me?
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Tim always was smart, he knew exactly how to get the other set of blue eyes peering right into his. Soaking in every word. Every syllable.
There was a nod before Tim was gifted one of those oh so rare brilliant smiles he used to always wear in his Robin days, at least publicly.]
Oh Tim, I don't expect anything, I want you to understand what your signing up for though. I'm moody at best, always on the run. I can't stand to be boxed in, and there's days I am just a terror for no reason besides well.. ya know.
[ There was always going to be issues. PTSD, and Pit madness were a thing, and he worried that Tim would have issues with it when logically he knew better.]
Don't worry about imagining, come here. [ He moved his calloused fingers over to trail down Tim's cheek as he leaned in to steal his lips this time.]
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